This article describes a study conducted at a shared secondary school in Cyprus - that is, a school which co-educates children coming from two conflicting ethnic communities on the island. The study focuses on teachers', students' and parents' perspectives about the struggles to negotiate co-existence in this school. Drawing on a three-month ethnographic research project, the findings provide insights into how teachers, students and parents from the two conflicting communities draw selectively from various discourses and practices on collective identity and ethnic conflict in Cyprus to support the pre-existing values and beliefs adopted from family and schooling. Critical multicultural theory is utilised to analyse the power relations involved in policies and practices at this shared school. The implications of this analysis are discussed in terms of de-emphasising bipolar differences and actively exploring alternative curricula, policies and pedagogical practices that create opportunities for critical dialogues so that empathy, multiperspectivity, solidarity and social justice are nurtured. (Contains 4 notes.)