In this article, the author takes a close look at alternative certification programs and is convinced that, because they vary so extremely in their requirements, all of them cannot possibly be producing highly qualified teachers. Here, he talks about Non-University Certification Programs (NUCPs). These are alternative certification programs that are delivered by agencies not affiliated with a higher education institution. Among other things, the author talks about the growth of alternative certification, as well as the problems encountered in NUCPs. (Contains 3 endnotes.)