This article aims to develop understanding of the impact of the experiences of the queer learner and teacher upon their need for safe spaces within adult education. From the perspective of learning and teaching within science, I discuss the relations between the perceived relevance of queer issues in the "classroom" and the distance of the disciplines from the places where queer discourse is practised, together with the need to translate the discourse of identity politics and queer theory to the individualised learning space. The concepts of self-marginalisation and emotional work and the possible impact of self-imposed invisibility upon the self-identity and confidence of a queer learner/teacher are described through a case study with elements of auto-ethnography. Assuming that the commonality within "queer" is the experience of being "other", yet invisible if wished, by using sections of personal narrative to raise and inform issues, I aim also to facilitate empathic engagement with the experience, strengths and sensitivities involved.