While questions surrounding the relationship between education and technology have captured the attention of philosophers of education in recent decades, such concerns have assumed new import. Although educational technology had become an increasingly ubiquitous facet of schooling in the years preceding COVID-19, the swift shift to remote instruction rendered necessary by the ongoing pandemic has restructured both P-12 and higher education in ways that are likely to last beyond the current crisis. The rapid proliferation of EdTech infrastructure and usage made possible by the necessity of social distancing has accelerated the adoption of technologies in ways that would likely have not been feasible in the absence of the COVID-19 pandemic. Practices that were previously unthinkable have now become commonplace. In this article, the author is concerned with the ways in which the ongoing and evolving COVID-19 crisis--by necessitating various iterations of remote instruction--will accelerate the neoliberal, techno-rationalization of schooling, and particularly, the university. Specifically, the author sees the mechanisms of EdTech as advancing neoliberal conceptions of schooling by facilitating standardized forms of instruction that align university teaching more closely to market values of consumer satisfaction, predictability, and scalability rather than with democratic values that might historically be associates with higher education. The author examines the proliferation of Quality Matters (QM), an educational "quality assurance organization," that has gained traction in recent years by helping institutions to "deliver" on their "online promise" by attaining a Quality Matters Certification by developing a series of highly standardized courses.