The literature on infant and toddler screen time has been built on two traditions--cognitive models of learning and sociocultural models of learning. Cognitive studies have cautioned against the use of screen time for young children because clinical research has not shown children can learn as effectively from screens as they do from human interaction and might delay children's cognitive development. Conversely, qualitative research has described the social ways children learn and use digital technology through social interactions with other people in their homes. This paper reports on an autoethnographic study of how digital tools were embedded in the everyday ways of life in my home during my son's first 18 months of life. I present a first-hand account of the tensions I experienced as I grappled with the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation of no, 'digital media use (except video-chatting) in children younger than 18-24 months' (p. 3). I juxtapose screen time recommendations with the everyday realities of my life as a first-time mother in the 21st century. Throughout the study, I was enmeshed in two roles--researcher and mother--and drew on phenomenology to describe my infant son and my lived experiences using digital technology in our home. My researcher persona was influenced by the traditions and perspectives of sociocultural theories and new literacy studies and the positive learning that can occur while using digital technology. I noted how digital tools were ingrained in daily moments and ways of life, particularly those which used the TV and smartphones, and could not be removed. Yet, my mother persona felt guilty about our use of digital technology and I struggled with the messages I received from news and social media that warned against screen time for infants and toddlers.