Class attendance is directly tied to student learning and student-faculty satisfaction. Although learning style and attitudes have evolved in college students of the internet generation, the reasons why students skip classes and assignments, and measures to improve the situation have not been comprehensively studied. Increased numbers of students who commute and work part-time, and rogue internet companies that promote dishonesty have added another layer of complexity to classroom attendance. This manuscript analyzes the causes of unsatisfactory attendance and various categories of excuses that students self-revealed as most efficacious based on a survey of 100 college freshmen. Sickness, technology, family, transportation, advisor meeting, part-time job, school activity, and others are on the made-up excuse list in the order of popularity. Solutions to counteract each of these fake excuses are proposed. These measures to improve attendance can potentially increase retention rate of college freshmen, enhance learning, and prepare students to a successful college experience.