In recent years, I have cultivated an almost pathological resistance to grading. Here I explore the reasons why and describe how I eventually recovered. In particular, I propose that although grading, or more explicitly, effective assessment of student learning, is a challenging component of a mathematics instructor's job description, reflective use of formative assessment can substantially relieve the pressure, as it allows the instructor to focus on what matters most: student learning and growth. To this end, I describe my experiences with formative assessment in a diverse selection of courses (ranging from calculus to introduction to proofs to mathematics for liberal arts). I conclude that formative assessment can help an instructor move toward a more intentional pedagogical stance, and a more constructive professional identity.