In this article, we trace the throughline of conspiracy thinking from QAnon to Pastel Q to conspirituality (a term that combines "conspiracy" + "spirituality"). We also explore how many in the wellness community have monetized conspirituality, using conspiracy theories about health, vaccines, COVID-19, and more to connect with people who feel shut out of the mainstream medical establishment. Finally, we place these connections within the historical context of the original conspiracy theory that is "American Exceptionalism," and turn to a discussion of how to address conspiracy and conspirituality through critical pedagogies that help learners question these origin myths.