This paper is about the funding status of teachers' retirement pension schemes. Its goal is to relate the accounting for the funding of these pension obligations to the endemic, systematic, and fundamentally fraudulent system of accounting our country uses to assess the financial positions of federal, state, and local government as well as many financial and non-financial private enterprises. Indeed, the paper argues that fraudulent accounting and misrepresentation is the defining element of Ponzi schemes and the real reason we find such schemes repugnant. Furthermore, any public or private enterprise that engages in fundamentally fraudulent accounting can fairly be characterized as running a Ponzi scheme. In this regard, it seems fully appropriate to characterize many, if not most, teachers' retirement plans as Ponzi schemes. (Contains 17 footnotes.)