Paulo Freire's influential concept of "banking" education describes an oppressive process that positions teachers as the "depositors" of knowledge into passive student "receptacles." However, according to Freire, teachers also have an "ontological vocation to be more fully human" that can only be achieved through freedom from oppression. In this article, I use Freire's concept of banking education to reflect on my experiences giving standardized tests during my final year teaching at a high-need middle school in New York City. Drawing from narrative inquiry methodology, I bring these teaching/testing experiences into conversation with the sociopolitical discourse on banks and argue that the contradiction and dehumanization of standardized banking models oppress both students and teachers. I argue that neoliberal forms of "accountability" in public education also force educators to substitute the humanization and freedom of student engagement for a type of "proxy personhood" achieved through acting on behalf of corporations.