In this article we unravel the difficulty of being researchers in the homes and classrooms of children and their families whose origins are, for one of us, very different and, for the other, very similar to our own. We first situate our work within theories of early socialization and literacy teaching which underpin our understanding of how young children in cross-cultural contexts learn. We then turn to the question of working with the families and teachers of these children which poses dilemmas not explained by the theories presented. We illustrate these through a series of vignettes typifying both the "Outsider" and the "Insider" role. The stories highlight paradigmatic moments of complexity, clashes or collusion which we unpick in terms of their generalizability for others working in the field. Finally, we extend theories of dialogue in our search for a methodology for collaborative work in future cross-cultural ethnographic studies. (Contains 12 notes.)