Military organizations have a long history of using simulations, role-play, and games for training. This also encompasses good practices concerning how instructors utilize games and gaming behavior. Unfortunately, the work of instructors is rarely described explicitly in research relating to serious gaming. Decision makers also tend to have overconfidence in the pedagogical power of games and simulations, particularly where the instructor is taken out of the gaming loop. The authors propose a framework, the coaching cycle, that focuses on the roles of instructors. The roles include instructors acting as game players. The fact that the instructors take a more active part in all training activities will further improve learning. The coaching cycle integrates theories of experiential learning (where action precedes theory) and deliberate practice (where the trainee's skill is constantly challenged by a coach). Incorporating a coaching-by-gaming perspective complicates, but also strengthens, the player-centered design approach to game development in that we need to take into account two different types of players: trainees and instructor. Furthermore, the authors argue that the coaching cycle allows for a shift of focus to a more thorough debriefing, because it implies that learning of theoretical material before simulation/game playing is kept to a minimum. This shift will increase the transfer of knowledge. (Contains 2 figures.)