The relationship between health (H) and physical education (PE) has long been the subject of debate. Recently, however, the obesity crisis has raised this relationship to a new level of attention. At the risk of simplifying things, there are two "positions" that seem to characterize the discourse regarding this new relationship. One position considers that the main mission of PE should now be the "war on obesity". Advocates for this instrumental position tend to do research, using interventionist strategies focusing on (H)PE as a site for the promotion of physical activity. The other position argues strongly for the foregrounding of educational purposes for (H)PE and tends to pursue research by means of sociocultural research paradigms such as phenomenology, poststructuralism or critical theory. Importantly, these "positions" draw on different literatures and discourses. Seldom do the advocates of these two positions speak to each other and, if and when they do, they seem to speak different languages. In this paper, I discuss the notion of academic discourse and explore, with some examples from conferences, how the conventions of academic discourse are (mis)understood and accordingly confound the development of more considered responses to the relationship between health and PE.