Quality and standards in higher education is a tricky topic, but one that will not go away. Everyone has a view, but it is rarely informed by fact. The subject is particularly difficult for several reasons. Perhaps the most important of these is the lack of any generally agreed definition of what quality and standards are. In this article, the author presents definitions of and facts about "quality" and "standards" in the world of higher education and makes radical suggestions about what ought to be done about them. He also considers the nature of and mechanisms for maintaining quality and standards in higher education.