Romer and Walker's "Appreciative Inquiry," which obtained input from 16 capable personal assistants, challenges some influential assumptions about personal assistance and opens a way to think about the demanding work of developing capable and committed personal assistants. Attempts to depersonalize the relationship between people with severe disabilities and assistants and how they share daily life with them reflect social devaluation of disability and social anxiety about dependency. Good service organizations will invest in cultivating the relationship qualities identified through the inquiry--presence, authentic listening, negotiating, moving with, trust, and respect.