This article discusses the sad state of affairs in academic recruitment and retention--of library upper management. Anyone who has taken part in searches for library directors or deans knows frustration first-hand. At times there may be more open leadership positions around the country than there are applicants for them (any applicants whatsoever, not just the reasonably well-qualified ones). Such a situation has spurred some of the larger academic libraries to employ head-hunting firms, in order to actively recruit plausible candidates who are not already on the market. Smaller (or poorer) libraries may do much the same thing for themselves, proactively approaching the kind of candidate they desire. (Contains 13 footnotes.)