In this piece, drawing from performance autoethnography, third world feminism, and postcolonial/cultural studies, the author interrogates "how do I play scholar?" The author uses Judith Butler's question "how do I play gender?" and her notions of performativity to dance around, using the voices of the "Thug" and the "Scholar," in a quest for a performative scholarship that honors the author's commitment with social justice and at the same time, does not make his life unlivable. The author argues for the need for a decolonizing form of inquiry that includes not only the stories but also the bodies and visceral knowledge of the oppressed in the academic production of knowledge. From the borders the author have lived, labored, and crossed, he presents his life in acts, fighting for a better and just world. (Contains 2 notes.)