This article examines how institutions of higher education conflate moral and descriptive terms for good, bad, remedial, and basic writing students. It outlines some of the social and historical developments that have led to exclusionary admissions and curricular requirements, and identifies how Christian institutions are complicit in these developments. It demonstrates how Christian institutions are well-positioned to implement more effective metaphors for describing student writers and their writing, and suggests action steps for instructors and administrators at Christian institutions that want to attract and retain a diverse student body and put into practice their academic missions. (Contains 3 notes and a bibliography.)