Purpose: This paper aims to discuss how sex and relationship education (SRE) could benefit from considering current levels of young women's empowerment in (hetero)sexual relationships and challenge popular notions of twenty-first century young women "having it all" and occupying powerful relational and sexual positions. Design/methodology/approach: This study employed a qualitative research design. Young women were interviewed in focus group and follow-up single interview discussion. The generated talk was then transcribed and critical discourse analytical techniques were employed to analyse the dialogues of the more sexually experienced young women to explore their narratives. Findings: In contrast with popular images of sexually experienced young women enjoying promiscuity and caring little about the consequences of their sexual actions, this paper displays how some young women continue to struggle with their (hetero)sexual relationships, and particularly their first experiences of sexual intercourse. The young women in the study did not necessarily experience "empowered" love and sexual relationships, rather their talk about their relational and sexual experiences revealed uncertainties, dissatisfactions and compromises. Research limitations/implications: This study explores eight discourses from the sexually experienced, six of whom were young mothers, and two discourses of whom were not mothers at the time of interviewing. Accordingly, the discussed perspectives and experiences originated from the sexually experienced, and predominantly from young mothers, and the conclusions drawn are specific to this research context. Future studies could explore the extent to which the discussed findings may also be relevant to other groups of young women. Originality/value: This paper contributes towards considerations of the inter-relationships between current public health and wider social, cultural and educational issues. By taking young women's own concerns seriously and organising the content of educational classes around young people's interests and concerns, SRE can increase its potential to impact on the quality of young people's love and sexual relationships over and above reducing teenage pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).