A retrospective review examined characteristics of 13 families involved in a community-based assessment and treatment program for children and youth with behavioral and emotional disturbance in association with mental retardation. Principles of stress theory and family systems theory are examined and applied to the particular stressors in families of children with disabilities. A chart for all 13 families lists child maladaptive behaviors and major family stressors and characteristics. Analysis suggests that in addition to the relevance of stress and family systems theory, the themes of parental loss and physical/sexual abuse are prevalent as major negative life events. The possible relationship of grief and grieving theory to aggressive noncompliance in conjunction with these theories is suggested. (Contains 14 references.) (DB)