This essay discusses the life and work of Elise van Calcar (1822-1904), a writer and maternal feminist who introduced Froebel's kindergarten in the Netherlands. Van Calcar also was the leader of a Christian branch of spiritualism. The focus is pointed at parallels between her reading of Froebel and of "messages" from spirits in the "other world" with whom she claimed to be in touch during spiritualist seances. Both Froebel's Romantic pedagogy and spiritualism put emphasis on harmony and synthesis. Each of her projects was an attempt to transcend the dichotomy between the public and the private. Spiritual motherhood ruled the kindergarten and non-conformist religion, alternative medicine and Froebel training were practised at home. Both the kindergarten movement and spiritualism made her promote a "natural" approach. Yet, she never stopped warning of the danger of leaving a child's moral development to nature. Like a garden a child had to be worked upon. (Contains 82 footnotes.)