The author's reflections on this 25th anniversary of ACT UP's founding were spurred by a comment made to her recently that indicated that ACT UP's memory and legacy are haunted by the perception that it was racist. In this essay, the author considers the claim that ACT UP was a racist organization. In addition to the question of historical accuracy, she explores what is generated and what foreclosed by the claim itself, thinking more broadly about the potentialities that histories of activism can but don't always provide. Throughout, she analyzes how racism functioned within ACT UP, seen from the perspective of a white participant in, and subsequent researcher of, the movement. A broad interest in the emotional states that course through activist scenes--often submerged and unacknowledged but nevertheless forceful and with effects--also motivates this essay. In particular, the author is curious about why a current activist might be wary of discussing ACT UP and what that wariness can tell individuals about the possibilities and perils of activist remembrance. (Contains 17 notes.)