This article critiques the current arrangements for the assessment and testing of English in early-years settings and primary schools in England. It is broadly supportive of the Early Years Foundation Stage Profile. It is highly critical of the Year 1 phonics check, and of the tests of reading and of grammar, punctuation and spelling at the end of Key Stages 1 and 2. It proposes a moderate revision of the Early Years Foundation Stage Profile, the abolition of the Year 1 phonics check, and a complete overhaul of testing arrangements at the end of Key Stages 1 and 2. The article's alternative proposals for these tests would reunite the currently dismembered activities of reading and writing. The spoken language would be assessed as of equivalent importance to reading and writing. The tests and their related assessment criteria would be published in banks of online resources from which teachers could choose. All assessment and testing would be done internally, by teachers, with external moderation.