This paper presents narratives from two parents about the exclusion of their disabled children within early childhood and primary school settings. Interpretations of particular "kinds of participation" that appear to be accepted as inclusive are explored. We argue that these interpretations have disabling effects on the children's learning and participation. We critique participation that is interpreted as "presence", "fitting in", and "irrelevant or unimportant". New Zealand curriculum documents [Ministry of Education. 1996. "Te Whäriki: Early childhood curriculum. Te Whäriki matauranga mo nga mokopuna o Aotearoa." Wellington: Learning Media; Ministry of Education. 2007. "The New Zealand curriculum." Wellington: Learning Media.] are briefly considered with regard to their socio-cultural views of learning, teaching, and participation and their positioning of disabled learners. A "pedagogy of listening" (POL), based on a critical, ethical, and political approach to learning and teaching, is presented as an alternative to deficit approaches to learning and participation [Dalhberg, G., and P. Moss. 2005. "Ethics and politics in early childhood education." London: Routledge; Rinaldi, C. 2006. In dialogue with Reggio Emilia: Listening, researching and responding. In "Contesting early childhood series," eds G. Dalhberg and P. Moss. London: Routledge]. POL and narrative approaches to assessment are considered in relation to their implications for inclusive New Zealand pedagogy.