Not so long ago the occasional story would be told in the news that someone with a fascination for all things medical had spent months or even years masquerading as a doctor in a large and anonymous hospital. No doubt the absence of such stories today is due to heightened security and vigilance, partly as a result of the realization among hospital staff that such individuals were indeed at large. No doubt too the number of such cases was due to the opportunity afforded by the freedom of movement of professional staff and the size of the institution in question. It may be heuristic to think of this situation occurring in a fine art teaching studio. The author defines teaching studio as a microcosm of this situation in that a diversity of contemporary art practices is undertaken as student work. This is in step with the market, where diversity also has a greater chance of survival than specialization. He argues that the reality that the fiction of the teaching studio reveals is just that "integrating principle" or "unity" as a fiction. Moreover, that illusion shelters student and teacher alike from being recognized in their institutional roles and allows them to see each other as autonomous subjects against the neutral or invisible backdrop of the institution. This article begins by asking whether the idea of the teaching studio as fictional scene might shed light on the teaching of contemporary art practices in the university, given the indexical character of that art, the university's principle of excellence, and their mutual lack of content. (Contains 34 notes.)