The primary priority for an educational leader in a democracy is decency. The author understands decency as showing compassion, respect, love, and caring for one another. That may sound soft and fuzzy, but she believes it is one of the harder things to do as a leader. It is fundamental to everything written about democracy--the need for dialogue; valuing difference; interfacing the civic, social, and political; and participating in order to effect action. The author argues that educational leaders must view themselves as part of and not apart from society; as leaders not only of schools, but of the social and civic worlds; as thinkers, and not compliant followers. It is necessary to learn the art of argumentation and not to fear difference in thought. Educational leaders need to learn how to dialogue, including disagreement, with respect and compassion: decency.