In the past five years there has been an increase in online news stories, all asking a somewhat similar question that can be paraphrased as, "Why are billionaires funding colleges and universities?" On its surface, the question appears harmless: billionaires presumably receive nothing by giving their money to institutions of higher education, other than the chance to spread knowledge and prosperity beyond themselves. But digging a little deeper tells a different story. The billionaire donations function to "buy" things in higher education that arguably should not be for sale: such as an ability to influence knowledge production in their own image, or an ability to influence university policies on hiring faculty and staff that mirror their own political and economic positions, among other things. The above questions have been aimed not only at some of the most prominent higher education institutions throughout the U.S., but also at billionaires like Charles and David Koch (the Koch brothers). This essay provides a critical examination of capitalism as one of the foundations of higher education in the U.S. From billionaire donors, to boards of trustees, to unsustainable student debt, higher education starts to look less like a knowledge bastion, and more like a corporation.