Participatory performance, as defined by Thomas Turino, holds the potential to contribute to enhanced social bonding, cooperation, and the realisation of community among participants -- despite the conflict or 'paradox' between self-expression and collective affiliation which it often provokes. This study considers how managing this underlying 'paradox of belonging' can positively contribute to the development of participatory performance's social benefits. It presents a case study of practitioner research situated in a UK secondary school, in which pupils (aged 11-13) faced the paradox of belonging during participatory performances of Terry Riley's "In C." Pupils perceived an emerging conflict between individual ability and interpersonal affinity, and in response proposed and practised different models of leadership to avoid, activate, and transcend the paradox. The study concludes by evaluating how these same responses could allow other participatory practices in secondary music classrooms to equip pupils to negotiate the paradox of belonging.