The aim of this study was to understand why some students avoid seeking help when they find classwork difficult. We employed a qualitative methodology to discover the theories in use that described and explained what high school students did and did not do when they did not understand in math classes. After 5 classroom observations of students' help-seeking behavior, stimulated recall interviews were conducted with 18 students to compare the tacit reasoning of help-seeking and help-avoiding students. The findings from our study suggested that categorizing students as either help seekers or avoiders did not adequately capture the variation in their behavior. Rather, our analysis of students' theories in use enabled us to reveal the tensions they experienced between their learning goals and the psychological risks they associated with help seeking, and to draw connections between this tension system and their actual help-seeking behavior. For instance, students were much more likely to seek help privately than publicly, not because the help provided in private situations was more effective but because they anticipated fewer psychological risks. This study provides an initial proof of concept that some students' help seeking decisions may be the result of a set of complex forces, existing in a state of tension, rather than a more stable property of individuals. Furthermore, advancing our understanding of those forces may require better integration of qualitative and quantitative research.