Looking at the development of China dating programs, "If You Are The One" in Jiang Su satellite TV is the heated program drawing much attention from the public. There are some papers focusing on the dialogue in the program from the perspective of linguistic features or pragmatic function, but there are few papers on the refusal speech act in such programs. Based on the classified oral language data in the program, this paper studies the refusal speech act when male or female guest was asked to build a love relationship with someone. Under the guidance of the face theory (Brown & Levinson), Politeness principle (Leech), we analyze the pragmatical difference of different refusal speech act. In addition, from the perspective of gender difference the study analyzes different refusal speech act patterns conducted by male and female guests in dating program and we find that men behave generally more direct while women are more euphemistic and polite in refusal speech act.