Pessimistic discourses about crises in youth and children's well-being, mental health and vulnerability permeate English educational policy and practice. These generate vague and slippery elisions of wellbeing and mental health, and the related rise of an ad hoc, confusing market of psycho-emotional interventions promoted by new types of "pay-experts". Revisiting earlier arguments that these developments depict a "diminished" human subject, we propose that the incoherent state of policy, much research and practice in this area warrants robust challenge and critique. In particular, more precision about key concepts of social and emotional learning, mental health and wellbeing, a reining in of universal programmes, and serious interest in the types of curriculum that can offer richer, more meaningful alternatives to developing wellbeing in educational settings.