The argument explored in this paper is that a "system" approach to care can have a potentially detrimental effect on, what is assumed here to be, the most important aspect of providing care and that is the relationship between the person that provides care and the person with dementia who is in receipt of care. A contrast between the medical model and a person-centred approach to providing care is discussed and the epistemological assumptions of the person-centred model are described and critiqued with reference to Levinas. The concept of the "non-intentional" is introduced, based on the ideas of Levinas, and used to critique mainstream approaches to the delivery of care. Levinas' work is used to provide the epistemological justification for what is described here as a "relational" approach to care. Discussion explores the use of a drama-based educational programme to foster a relational approach amongst carers.