In this essay, the authors, as participants of the Privilege and Oppression in the Preparation of Mathematics Teachers Educators conference, reflect on tensions inherent in standing with and speaking on behalf of communities in an attempt to build and signal solidarity with them. They describe this tension in relation to their membership in the community of researchers who study equity in mathematics education. A particular exchange that arose during whole group discussion at the conference seeded a conversation around other situations they have encountered in this community, and led to the development of a set of "cautionary tales" for the field.