Despite complex reasons for disengagement and exclusion from conventional schooling, all children have a right to education that is of a high quality. Disenfranchised young people require alternatives for re-engaging in education. This necessitates a rethinking of what it means to be an educator in alternative education settings and how to relate to young people who have experienced exclusion and failure in conventional school settings. Relational ways of being an educator are vital to support the creation of lifelong learners, not merely school completers. Flexible learning programmes offer a model of re-engagement in which relational ways of being an educator are prioritised. This article explores key aspects of trauma-informed practice and relational pedagogy in a network of flexi schools in Australia. Relational pedagogy can redress the impact of trauma and social exclusion experienced by young people. In flexi schools educator identities are challenged and changed by a willingness to explore and understand the impact of trauma on young people's development and capacity to learn. A commitment to trauma-informed practice and relational pedagogy requires educator identities to be co-constructed and negotiated in relationship with young people and colleagues. These shifts in educators' sense of identity in the flexi schools context are explored.