The aim of this article is to investigate the competence of young children staying with their mothers in refuges for abused women as participants in qualitative interviews. Discourse of the verbal and non-verbal actions of seven young children (4-7 years old) was analysed using a theory originally developed to describe infant-mother interaction as a model. The analysis shows that the young children were able not only to communicate important aspects of what it means for a child to live in a family with domestic violence but also to regulate, limit and take the lead in the interviews, similar to the ways infants regulate their internal states during interactions with their caretakers. The findings emphasize the importance of including children this young in research and challenge taken-for-granted notions of adult power and helpless children.