In this paper I reflect autoethnographically on my experiences of writing as part of a professional doctorate. I draw on the research journals that I kept during a particularly challenging time in the dissertation process and in particular on the method of journal writing that I used to help me through this time. This storied account offers an insight into the experience of being "trína chéile", or all over the place, in the border country of adult learning. The discovery of negative capability and metaphoric sensibility emerge as significant supports on the journey. Encountering the work of Cixous during the dissertation and the work of Milner after its completion were key aspects of the thinking process. In this way writing is seen as a method of self-support in the border country of dissertation writing, one that supports emergent learning and that acts as an epistemological resource in using writing processes that are congruent with the discipline of adult education.