Gender variance confronts widely held assumptions that children born as males will act like "boys" and children born as females will act like "girls". This imposed binary has the effect of perpetuating negativity towards people who express themselves with gendered variations in attire, behaviour or preferences. Despite the existence of gender-variant individuals in every culture and throughout time, many people are unaware that diversity in gender expression and sexual formation is a naturally occurring phenomenon. This qualitative study aimed to establish the needs of gender-variant children and their parents in order to inform education programmes, policies and clinical approaches to gender variance. Three Internet surveys were conducted to explore the experiences of parents raising gender-variant children, the childhood experiences of transgender adults and the views of professionals who work with the transgender community. The needs of gender-variant children emerged in terms of the need for information, peer contact, personal gender expression, safety, and to be heard and accepted by their parents. The most common needs for parents were for information (stories from other parents, research and guidelines; peer support) and educational resources for schools, professionals and local communities. The paper provides comparisons between the three participant groups and recommendations for future research.