This paper summarizes a south Asian custom of decision-making and a western custom of decision-making. It then describes by example the meeting of these customs, based on traditional philosophies (one supporting an entire family group, the other leaving a person to function individually and independently), when a newcomer (an Indian male graduate student) from the family-oriented philosophy enters a host culture of the individual and independent philosophy. Finally, the paper highlights approaches which newcomers and hosts can make to adapt to the other culture by listening to the meaning of the spirit of the other. (Contains 32 references.) (Author/RS)