A survey conducted by the American Association of University Women (AAUW) polled 3,000 boys and girls between the ages of 9 and 15 years regarding their attitudes toward self, school, family, and friends. Results confirmed that the passage into adolescence is marked by a girl's loss of confidence in herself and her abilities. The AAUW discovered that the most dramatic gender gap in self-esteem is in the area of competence. The author spent a year with African-American, Latina, and Anglo-American eighth-grade girls in two California schools. Her behind-the-scenes look at their real lives confirms the AAUW findings. Her experiences show that the media and the educational system are shortchanging female adolescents. (Contains 194 references.) (SLD)