Demographic trends of marriage and childbearing early in adulthood and longer life spans have meant that many people become grandparents in middle age and are grandparents for 20 or 30 years. The relationship between grandparent and grandchild is mediated through the parent. This study examines the qualities that parents desire in grandparents and the relationship between parents' marital status and grandparent qualities. Study participants (N=79) were parents who were university undergraduates or patrons of day care centers, 57 of whom were married and 22 of whom were single. Participants answered questions on family background and open-ended questions on the best and worst things about grandparents and on qualities of the ideal grandparents. Responses to the open-ended questions were categorized. Parents cited grandparents' help and support as desirable and advising about or interfering in grandchildren's upbringing as undesirable. Single parents more often cited grandparents' support as desireable than did married parents which may indicate an evolving role for grandparents. Ideal grandparents were thought to have a warm relationship with grandchildren. Few responses referred to grandparents' involvement in discipline; parents only criticized grandparents' unwarranted discipline. Gender differences were found in specific grandparent activities but not in grandparent qualities. Married parents most often endorsed family solidarity. (ABL)