Almost everything educators say to their students sends a message. Some messages enhance students' motivation, but other messages undermine it. What should teachers say to students to send messages that motivate? In a survey given to parents, over 80% of them thought that it was necessary to praise their children's intelligence in order to give them confidence in their abilities and motivate them to succeed. However, research shows that this is wrong. Although common sense may suggest that students who are unmotivated, struggling, or lacking in confidence might benefit from praise for their intelligence, the author worries that this kind of praise might send a fixed mindset message. That praise for intelligence would put students in a fixed mindset with all of its vulnerabilities. Results of a research study conducted to test whether praise for effort or strategies would promote a growth mindset with its motivation and resilience show that it was praising the student's process--which could be their effort, strategies, concentration, choices, persistence--that helped them remain motivated, confident, and effective. A growth mindset helps students to seek learning, to love learning, and to learn effectively.