When a family finds out their child has a disability, they enter the world of special education which has its own terminology, rules, settings and personnel. In addition to grappling with the meaning of their child's special needs, families are also thrown into the role of principle advocate for their child. The research study reported here presents the findings from focus groups conducted in the United States of America with 27 diverse families on their efforts to obtain the best educational outcomes for their children. In this article, Robyn Hess, Amy Molina and Elizabeth Kozleski bring their collective past experiences, as a school psychologist, bilingual counsellor and special education teacher respectively, to bear on this topic and frame the issue from a systemic perspective. They argue that engaging in conversation with families around their needs, as well as assisting them in their efforts to advocate for their child, is the first step in creating more equal partnerships between parents of children with special needs and educational professionals.