In this article, the author, who is a scientist, a wife and a mother of two preschool children talks about how these two roles exerted a disproportionate impact on her career choices. She is also an X-Gal, one of a group of nine female biologists who have banded together to offer one another advice and support as they seek careers in academic science. She shares her experiences in teaching a class that she loves, doing research in her adviser's lab and supervising undergraduate researchers. Although she is happy, she feels that she is a failure. She describes the internal and external sources for that feeling and defines what success means in her vocabulary.