This article explores the mutual benefits for social workers and young people of active listening within a collaborative partnership incorporating foster carers, allowing the possibility to create a virtuous circle. The benefits for young people of increased self-esteem, positive identity and resilience among others are explored. The benefits for social workers include creating an effective, accountable, holistic and better-informed practice, leading to an increase in overall job satisfaction. One of the authors has drawn on her personal experience as a foster carer, with a particular focus on loss and grief as experienced by young people within the care system and foster families themselves. An argument is presented outlining the need for an expert knowledge of grief and loss and attachment theories on the part of social workers working with young people, along with excellent communication and engagement skills to facilitate an understanding of life as experienced by a young person in care. All too often, care plans are created "for" young people, or delivered "to" young people, by well-intentioned but under-resourced social-work departments; the author argues for care plans to be created and implemented "with" young people, thereby maximising positive outcomes. Listening, advocating and befriending do not require huge additional resources, but are dependent on all professionals actively engaging with young people, on their level and at their pace.