This article reports on the affective challenges I experienced while attempting to develop a pedagogy of teacher education during my first three years in teacher preparation. Data were collected systematically over the course of the study in the form of written interpretive accounts of my experiences. Analysis of these accounts revealed how certain ongoing, and at times paradoxical, tensions influenced my thinking about my initial practices as a teacher educator. Even as I came to understand the content and pedagogy of my instruction in more sophisticated ways, I simultaneously exhibited fear of regression, displayed apathy or exhaustion, exhibited frustration and restlessness, and struggled to navigate interpersonal relationships with my students. The implications of these affective challenges for developing a pedagogy of teacher education are discussed and avenues for further research are considered.