This article describes one unconventional elementary school teacher's frustrations with colleagues doubting her competence, intelligence, and sense of purpose as a teacher. In her classroom, she never used textbooks or had a teacher's desk. There were no contests, gold stars, or redbird reading groups. There were no school-supply decorations, stereo-typed jack-o'-lanterns, paper-bag Thanksgiving vests, or "ditto" coloring sheets. She asserts that she and her students did fine without these things and because parents could see their kids learning and because they, too, are included in the classroom, they were supportive. However, she was continuously criticized by those who questioned whether her students were "just having fun" or actually learning. She expresses that for years in her teaching experience, she tried to explain the differences in her teaching style and the rigor of her work. She decided one way to put an end to this was to enroll in Harvard graduate school and earn a doctorate. This would be the proof she could present to those who doubted her legitimacy as a teacher. However, looking back, she realized she misjudged how one becomes an educational expert. While she thought it had something to do with thoughtful experience, reflective practice, and the study of theory and research--today, it seems that the less one has studied education, the less one has practiced, the farther from the classroom one's office is located, the more valued one becomes. One example of this can be seen in President Bush's appointment of Margaret Spellings as U.S. Secretary of Education. Spellings, one who has never taught or worked in a public school, nor had experience running a large, complex organization, nor has a master's degree, is the expert the President looks to for leadership, whose judgment the nation is to trust and follow. The author concludes the idea that educators need not be troubled with acquiring extensive knowledge of child development, a solid background in learning theory, or philosophical clarity seems deeply ingrained in the nation's collective expectations of education. She worries about the frightening nightmares that she has begun to have while awake--where education has fallen into a rabbit hole, the Mad Hatter is making the rules, the Queen of Hearts keeps pounding on education with a croquet mallet, and the "hurrieder we go, the behinder we get." [This article has been condensed from "Phi Delta Kappan," 86 (February 2005), 478-79 (EJ709896).]