This article analyzes twelve English translations of the Biscayan squire's speech ("Don Quijote de la Mancha", Chapter Eight) published between 1612 and 2000. The solutions found fall into three categories, namely (a) using standard English and risking misrepresenting the style of the original and omitting relevant cultural connotations, (b) using an existing nonstandard variety, and (c) devising a comparably tortuous literary dialect to emulate the contrast between the squire's speech and the standard variety used by the narrator and other characters.