Academic Analytics is a for-profit company, owned in part by the State University of New York at Stony Brook, that compiles annual Faculty Scholarly Productivity Index. Its Faculty Scholarly Productivity Index is a ranking of graduate programs at research universities based on what purports to be the first objective measurement of per capita scholarly accomplishment. The concept behind the index is alluringly simple: Take the number of professors in a given program, the number of books and journal articles they have written, the number of times other scholars have cited them, and the awards, honors, and grant dollars they have received, and plug them into a neat algorithm. The number that comes out is the key to how productive, on average, a university department's faculty members are. In this article, the author discusses how some critics object to the way the company collects data. The author also discusses the flaws in the findings of the Faculty Scholarly Productivity Index's third annual report.