Like a fire out of control, jealousy can reduce a marriage to rubble. It can leave self-esteem ruined. Although oversimplified, the pathologically jealous person regards even slight signs as conclusive evidence of betrayal. Where jealousy arises exclusively within a relationship then a counselor might examine the jealous person's self-concept and the connection between the person's thoughts and affects that influence his or her behavior. In avoiding, a jealous person could increase costs or lower rewards of a relationship or denigrate the beloved so as to make the beloved less attractive in the eyes of the world. In coping, a jealous person could change aspects of self that have interfered with the further development of the primary relationship. Not every jealous person commits to counseling at the time when the relationship is in jeopardy. Self-esteem may be a common and critical thread in uniting the various perspectives from which a counselor can approach jealousy. A jealous person's plummeting self-esteem can upset the balance between the partners in an existing relationship. The jealous person, if he or she turns to violence, usually does so after the beloved has renounced the relationship. Counselors can assess the potential for threat. First, suicide or other self-destructive behavior looms as high-probability castatrophes when significant depression coexists with persistent jealousy. When alcohol mixes with jealousy the concoction can be lethal. (ABL)