As a public school English teacher, the author observes standardized testing season each year with a sort of grim fascination. "So this is it," she thinks as she paces around her silent classroom, peering over kids' shoulders at articles about parasailing. Line graphs tracking the rainfall in Tulsa. Parts of speech. Functions of "x." "These are the 34 questions that will determine some aspect of my students' futures"--as well as the school's yearly progress report, her own teacher report card, and soon, possibly, her salary. She winces at her young charges' careless mistakes. She sees eyes rove. She knows who came in yawning, who's feeling sick, whose brother is back in jail. So many variables (input) producing a single-digit score (output). Functions of "x." In this article, the author shares her thoughts on test scoring and grading process used in grading state tests.